Friday, June 20, 2014

How to: Pickup the Tinderettes

Gaining popularity over the past year, the dating application Tinder has officially reached 1 billion matches as of March 2014, according to CEO Sean Rad.  Being an experienced user of the app myself, I can assume that of those 1 billion connections that were made, only a small percentage of them have resulted in conversation.

When "how to start a conversation" is searched on Google, the first suggestion offered is "how to start a conversation on Tinder", proving that a fair amount of users have difficulty taking the first step.  I consider myself one of the lucky ones though and have no problem starting a conversation with my secret lovers.  These are my secrets to Tinder success.

There are 5 simple ways to win your wife-

1.) Simply say hello:  This is the most simple way to start a conversation on this dating service.  It is also the most common.  Make sure you grab her attention right after she responds, otherwise she may write you off as a potential soul-mate.  Ask her about her family life, as most women enjoy talking about that.
After successfully cracking through her tough exterior by discussing family
life, the girl opens up and praises my "silly" trait.  Check-mate.

2.) Ask a question:  Make sure that the question you ask intrigues her, and makes her think deeply about herself before giving an honest answer.  Once you think you have learned enough about your match, the next step is to move the conversation to texts.

Although the first few messages go well, I feel like I may have overstepped the line asking for
feet pics.  Don't be afraid of rejection though! Just move on to the next match!

3.) Be completely honest:  Let them know a little something about yourself.  It's important that your match knows the fine details of your life.  Don't be afraid to open up about your relationship with your mother either! Women like to learn about the relationship between their man and their soon to be mother-in-law.
It is important to connect over common interests.  In this case, Nintendo Wii.  By asking for her
Wii system, I have now opened many doors, many of which lead to
us growing old together. (It's cut off, but she actually said I could have it!)

4.) Be charismatic:  Show a little excitement! You may have just met your wife!  Send your lover a wake-up text that puts a smile on their face.

Tip: If you think your match may have a neurological disorder, be straight forward about
 your concern and ask them.  It's better to know now rather than after you've tied the knot.

5.) Show a little love: We're all here to find love! Just don't go over the top.

Remember, there's never a "right" time to say the L word. Just
make that you just don't throw the word around too much.

Happy hunting.

Monday, June 16, 2014

100 Things to Teach my Kids

Here's a list of my morals and rules that I've learned to live by over the 19 years of my life. I've experienced many firsthand, and have learned the others through a variety of other means.  Regardless, these are the lessons I would like to teach my future children:

1.) Don't let school interfere with your education.
2.) Be a peace keeper, try to avoid conflict, but don't be afraid to fight when necessary.
3.) There is never a right time to say the "L" word to a significant other.  Just never throw it around without meaning.
4.) 90% of the time you won't win an argument with your mother.
5.) The best way to clear your mind and resolve internal issues is by running and exercise.  Alcohol only makes these situations worse.
6.) If someone is reckless with your emotions, tell them to take a hike.
7.) Do multiple sports at a young age.  Pick one and stick with it for when your later years.
8.) Learn time management.
9.) If she cheats, she's not worth your time.  If you cheat, then you're not a man.
10.) The easiest way to ruin relationships is by consistently sending invitations to play Candy Crush.
11.) Whether they're factual or fictional, always have stories to tell.
12.) Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Big Fish and Juno.  Pay attention to the underlying lessons in these movies, you can learn a lot from them.
13.) Take vitamins daily.
14.) Dress accordingly to weather and the formality of the occasion.
15.) Chicks dig suits.
16.) Don't waste time or money with video games.  They both add up and you'll want back what you wasted.
17.) 99% of the time your parents will have similar mannerisms that your grandparents have.  There's a 99% chance you'll have similar traits your parents have, too.
18.) The only book you should ever read for school is To Kill a Mockingbird.  Be an Atticus.
19.) Have work ethic.
20.) Everyone's priorities are different, but family should always be first and money in the bottom half.
21.) Learn to balance your academic life, athletic life, and social life appropriately.
22.) Find a career you enjoy. You'll never work a day in your life.
23.) Start with an unpaid internship.  It looks so impressive on a resume that you worked hard for free.
24.) Bros before hos. Always.
25.) All disagreements between friends can and should be settled with the N64 Super Smash Brothers.
26.) Kirby is the key to victory.  Learn how to play right and you can't lose.
27.) Never settle for women, jobs or a home.
28.) He who dies with most toys is usually not the winner.
29.) Family and family do not mean the same thing.
30.) College is fun, if done right. College is not fun, if done wrong.
31.) Always say: please, thank you, ma'am and sir.
32.) Real men DO NOT consider couponing a hobby.
33.) But they do try to find deals and save easy money when they can.
34.) There is no shame in dollar stores and thrift shops.
35.) Don't brag.
36.) PB&Js are the best all-around thing you can eat.
37.) People make mistakes, don't dwell on them.  Forgive, forget and move on.
38.) There's no need to cuss.  It's unnecessary and unprofessional.
39.) But don't try your hardest to keep your language G-rated.  You'll sound like a weenie.
40.) Learn an instrument and another language.  Being well rounded is pretty awesome.
41.) If you choose to do track, don't be a sprinter just because it looks easy.  You'll be unpleasantly surprised.
42.) Talk to a professional athlete to know how hard it is to accomplish dreams, but how very doable it can be.
43.) Keep up to date with current events.
44.) Eat your calories, don't drink them.
45.) Need inspiration to lead a wholesome life? Watch Jerry or Maury.
46.) Be a source of wisdom, but never pretend to be one.
47.) Don't be afraid to embarrass yourself in front of strangers.  You most likely won't ever see them again.
48.) Pain can be much more than physical.
49.) There's no shame in Walmart clothes shopping, just don't advertise where you bought your outfit.
50.) Make close friends with twins.  You'd be surprised how much more fun they make everything.
51.) There's nothing wrong with talking to your dog as if they knew what you were saying.
52.) Let your voice be heard, but only in moderation.
53.) Re-read your essay multiple times before handing them in.
54.) Personal phone-calls mean so much more than texts messages.
55.) Try yoga.
56.) Instant-gratification won't benefit you in the long run.  Just stick it out and you'll be happy with your choices.
57.) Know the differences between 'there' 'their' and 'they're', as well as 'then' and 'than'.
58.) Class will get you a career.  Swag will get you a job.  Choose one and choose wisely.
59.) The square block doesn't fit in the circle hole.  If it doesn't work seem to work, problem solve.
60.) The best way to enjoy a moment is to not take a picture of it and just soak it in.
61.) Failing is 10x worse than studying.
62.) Only participate in college athletics if it either pays for your tuition or you can see yourself taking your game to the next level.
63.) Donate time, money, and anything else to those who need assistance.  We're literally so fortunate to be born into the lives we live now.
64.) Never affiliate with a single political party.  Always vote best candidate.
65.) There's no need to get involved in religion. Just worry about being a good person.
66.) There's no shame in asking for help.
67.) Always keep a bigger goal in mind. Remember it takes baby steps to get where you want to be because nothing is accomplished with one giant leap.
68.) Not everything goes your way. Learn to deal with it or you'll be a very unhappy person.
69.) Learn to call people 'bro', but only apply the term when appropriate.
70.) Women can be your bros, too.
71.) Only in rare circumstances can a man and woman be best friends and nothing more.
72.) Just because the government says it's illegal doesn't mean it's immoral.  Stick to what you think is acceptable, just don't get caught.
73.) You're never too old to revisit childhood.
74.) Time goes fast and life changes quickly, but there's no way to slow the process.  Make the minutes count and enjoy them, otherwise they are wasted..
75.) You will never be as young as you are right now.
76.) Go to bed early.
77.) Avoid clichés. They're stupid.
78.) Shoes are meant to get dirty.  Scuffed up sneakers should not ruin your day.
79.) Don't brag about people you know.  Be the person everyone brags about knowing.
80.) Don't be homophobic or racist.  Accept all people.
81.) Looks can get you a hot girl. Brains can get you a smart one. A mix of both with an addition of confidence and personality will get you your perfect match.
82.) Participate in no-shave November annually and Movember at least once.
83.) Don't ever spoil the ending of a TV show or a movie, even if given permission.
84.) It may be difficult, but don't be afraid to show emotion.  We're all human.
85.) Being scared of death is irrational.  Being scared that death may take someone we love isn't.
87.) The closest thing to buying happiness would be buying an old Crash Bandicoot game.
88.) Always dress up for Halloween.  The slutty-cat does not count.
89.) Having nice things is cool, but if your belongings are your legacy then what was your purpose?
90.) It is acceptable to derive your opinions from South Park.
91.) Don't go blowing money.  Once it's spent it's money you'll never get back.
92.) Pretend to enjoy golf and learn the basics of how to play.
93.) Photo shopping is very prevalent in our society.  Know how to edit and how to spot doctored photos.
94.) Contrary to popular belief, social studies is actually one of your most important subjects in school.
95.) So long as you show your best effort and pull a GPA good enough to get into college, then you've done well in school.
96.) Remember, an occasional bad grade isn't the end of the world.  Just be glad that you knew 50% of the material in a subject in which you weren't fully educated.
97.) Always buy organic when given the option.
98.) Follow Batman's motto: "It's not what I am underneath, but what I do that defines me".  Do good.
99.) Learn the art of a proper handshake. It's an important life skill.  First impressions are crucial, and there's no better way to present yourself in such a manner.
100.) Put down the phone and enjoy the company of those around you.

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Theory of Song Popularity

After being repeatedly blasted by Pharrell William's "Happy" on the radio over the past couple of months, it occurred to me why this song, and so many other ones throughout the past decade, have been so successful.

Songs like this one become popular for a single reason: a one-word catchphrase that is used as the song's title, and is drilled into our minds with a catchy chorus created around constant repetition of that word.  So essentially, I believe songs whose titles have only one word in their names have a higher chance of for success.

I'm no scientist, nor am I capable of proving my theory with numbers and statistics, but I truly believe that my argument is valid on the grounds that many of the "one-word wonders" are still popular with the people, even after their peak, and are still used for different purposes in today's media.

Here are the first seven songs that came to my mind when I thought of this theory, and why they support my argument:

  • "Happy" (2013) by Pharrell Williams - "Happy" is the best example.  It has been used for YouTube videos, and commercials to give the viewer a positive vibe towards what they are watching.  What's interesting is that Pharrell (before his latest album) was known as a rapper, not a pop singer.  I think he knew that a song like this would change the game for him, even if it meant changing his style.
  • "Magic" (2010) by B.O.B. - The keyword used here is 'magic'.  The lyrics of the song are rapped fast, but in the song's chorus the word is constantly repeated in a singalong fashion, allowing for people to follow what is being said.  Since the chorus of the song is so adored because of how upbeat and whimsical it is, most people remember the song for its chorus four years later.  This is also why in the 2013 movie Pitch Perfect, the song is used in one of the final performances.
  • "O.M.G." (2009) Usher ft. Will.i.am - The phrase "OMG" is never actually said in the song.  The song's title is shortened to this acronym since it is much easier to remember and to repeat, instead of the three worded "oh my god".  At its height, this song reached #2 on the Billboard Pop-songs chart, and is still regularly played on various radio stations.
  • "Roar" (2013) Katy Perry - Looking at Katy Perry's song title names, it seems that she understands the importance of simple song titles, with names such as: "Peacock", "Firework", "Birthday", and "E.T." (abbreviated for Extra-Terrestrial).  "Roar" reached number Billboard Top 10, and maintained a position there for many weeks.  It is also constantly played on the radio, even today.
  • "Brave" (2013) Sara Bareilles - The song serves many purposes in today's media.  It's a catchy song, with lyrics that base around, well, being brave.  The theme of the song allows it to be used for many different reasons today, and also giving it an opportunity to have relevance in the future.
  • "Unwritten" (2004) Natasha Bedingfield - I like to call this song the "Graduation Song".  After its 2004 release, it peaked at #3 on US Adult Top 40.  10 years later, it maintains relevance in today's world because of the strong words in the chorus that can be used to express heading into the future and controlling one's own destiny.  Basing a song around reminding people that their future will be what they decide it will be means it will always hold relevance and will stand the test of time, as it has so far.
  • "Yeah!" (2004) Usher - I would guess that this song has probably been the most played song at parties and clubs since its release 10 years ago.  Literally half of the words spoken in the song are "yeah", which is constantly repeated throughout the song.  Ya it's simple, but it's really catchy.
  • "Low" (2007) Flo Rida - Another clubbing song, "Low" was Billboard's #1 song of the year.  It is also Billboard's All-time #25 song, meaning it will be considered a hip-hop classic in the distant future.  This song is popular (mostly in the club-scene) because the song is all about dancing with a beautiful, sexy girl who gets low.  The word is repeated constantly and is emphasized in the song.  When it's broken down the lyrics are good and the repetitive chorus is even better, but really simple.
Of the songs listed, they all have something in common that no one would think- they all have 100% clean lyrics.  Although some may be suggestive, at no point in any of these songs are profanities spoken. The majorities of these artists above have other, not as popular, songs that are filled with profanities.  But I believe that the artists were aware of the impending success of these songs and knew that if they were kid-friendly, they'd attract a whole new audience.

Pay attention for other songs that are not listed.  There are plenty that are out there, but it just takes an aware mind to realize the simplicity of them.

Friday, June 6, 2014

Minimum Wages in America

The nationwide struggle over minimum wage regulations may finally be coming to an end.  As of the beginning of June, Seattle, Washington passed a bill setting a record for the highest minimum wage nationwide at a lofty $15 per hour.

The yearly salary for a full-time minimum wage worker (40 hours per week) shoots from $19,115 to $31,200.  This is a 63% increase from the previous minimum salary of $9.19 per hour.  To those who were already working at the previous minimum wage, this drastic increase seems to be nothing short of a miracle.

Before the bill's approval in Seattle, the Congressional Budget Office (CBO) had set up two varying plans that both call for a nationwide increase in minimum wages.  The first plan calls for the wage to be set at $9.00, which would take two years for the plan to be completely in action.  The other plan sets the minimum at $10.10, taking a full three years to be completely implemented.

It seems as though Seattle is being used as a lab rat for the CBO's decision on how to handle this issue.  By the time the CBO has to make a decision on a wage law, the effects of Seattle's recently passed bill will begin to show, revealing the effects of inflation on minimum wage.  At this point, it is too soon to say what definite effects an increase would have on our economy, but it is easy to speculate on the possible pros and cons that come with the bill's approval-

Pros:
  • This could be the start to closing the gaps of our nation's substantial economic inequalities.  An increase may reduce the levels of poverty in America, allowing opportunities for people currently labeled as lower class to move up in economic status.
  • Initially, increasing the minimums to higher amounts would be a boasting point for the American government in international affairs.
  • An increase in pay raise would transition to an increase in product consumption.  This increase in money flow would act as a stimulus to the economy, possibly helping us climb out of our major national debt.  This idea resembles President Roosevelt's New Deal, which was successful in the rebuilding of America's depressed economy.
Cons:
  • An increase may interfere with current company budget policies.  Especially for small businesses, this increase may be impossible to compensate, resulting in job cuts.
  • The annual salary of a full-time minimum wage worker is similar to that of a sixth year Staff Sergeant in the US Army.  This salary is also greater than all low-ranking military members.  (Essentially, someone could flip burgers full-time and make more money than an experienced veteran.)
  • To compensate for the salary increases, product prices could shoot up to a point where they are no longer affordable for the working class.
Although it is indefinite on what the future holds, the CBO must weigh out the potentials when it comes to finalizing the national wage minimum.  Should endorsement of the current state-regulated wage minimums continue, or should they be slightly augmented and risk the (already weak) well-being of our nation's economic status?

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Inaugural Post

Fellow Americans,

Welcome to the inaugural post of The Prajka Press.  Hesitant to start a new project, I have finally taken to the keyboard to preach to all those misfortunate enough to come across my page.

The name's Nicholas, born and raised in the suburbs of Chicago.  I currently attend Loyola University Chicago, studying in the School of Communications for a major that has yet to be specified.  I also partake in the school's D1 Track & Field program as a half-miler.  I consider myself to be somewhat of an open-book and also do not mind embarrassing myself for the sake of a laugh.

I have been told by many people who work in the communications field that it is essential to have a blog in order to stand out, by show-casing writing abilities and creativity.  After reading other people's blogs over the years, I have learned that most usually pertain to a single subject.  Unfortunately, I do not consider myself to be an expert of any thing (other than running, but there's plenty of blogs about that already).  For that reason, The Prajka Press was created solely for the purpose of posting what I feel like, whenever I feel like posting it.  Posts will always vary in subject, humor, sarcasm, and seriousness, just depending on the mood the day of the post.  If initially you're not captivated by the posts, just stick with me here because I guarantee that logs will eventually come along that will pertain to your interests.  Responses are encouraged, and I will respond when it seems appropriate to do so!

Follow the press on Twitter: @theprajkapress

Thanks in advance for making me famous, I couldn't do it without my loyal readers,
Prajka